It was 1995. I was 10 years old, sitting next to my father in his study. He asked me to type up a letter on the computer — something simple, just a quick document. As I typed, I casually said, “You should learn how to use a computer.”
He scoffed.
“I’m too old for that,” he said.
He was 39.
Even at ten, I remember thinking, if he gave up just one night of watching TV each week, he could learn. But he didn’t. He told himself it was too hard, and that story stuck.
Now, fast forward to 2025 — 30 years later. My dad called me the other day, frustrated that Outlook wasn’t working. I told him to try restarting his computer.
His reply?
“How do I restart the computer?”
In three decades of owning a computer, he didn’t know what restarting a computer meant. Why? Not because he couldn’t — he’s smart. But because he shut himself off from learning. When I explained how to restart he knew how to do it. However he let the same excuses from 1995 define him in 2025.
He always says, “I don’t know,” when I ask him something about a computer or try to teach him how to do something and follows it with an excuse — “I’m too old to learn,” or “I’d need a degree from Melbourne University to figure this out.”
What this really tells me is that he’s not even going to try. Instead of learning the skill, he’ll just rely on me — or someone else — to do it for him. By saying “I don’t know,” he’s not just expressing uncertainty; he’s closing the door on growth altogether.
But this isn’t really about computers. It’s about what happens when “I don’t know how” becomes part of your identity.
At some point, that phrase stops being a passing thought and starts becoming your comfort zone.
You stop being curious.
You stop making an effort.
And eventually, you start believing you simply can’t and close yourself from learning.
Where in your life are you doing the same?
- Is it your relationship?
- Your finances?
- Starting that business you’ve dreamed about?
- Or applying for a new job, but you keep putting it off?
Here’s how to shift out of the “I don’t know” trap:
- Name the area
What part of your life have you been avoiding or feeling stuck in? - Make the commitment
Say it out loud: “I’m going to learn. I can figure this out.” Don’t wait to be confident — just start. - Take a simple step forward
- Google “something nice I can do for my partner.”
- Watch a 10-minute YouTube video on budgeting.
- Book a coffee with someone who’s doing what you want to do.
My father has built an identity around not knowing — almost like a badge of honour. He’ll crack jokes, saying he needs a degree from Melbourne University just to learn how to use a computer. He plays it off as humour, hoping others will laugh along or feel sorry for him.
Sure, people might smile politely or nod in sympathy. Some may even relate to his frustration, and over the years, many have tried to help him learn.
But let’s be honest — in today’s world, where even young kids can instinctively jump on a computer and figure things out, it’s no longer endearing. It doesn’t come across as relatable — it comes across as foolish and dumb.
The hard truth? He hasn’t been held back by technology — he’s been held back by his refusal to learn. He hasn’t protected himself from failure; he’s only limited his own potential and stunted his growth.
Because truthfully — it’s not that you can’t learn.
It’s whether you’re willing to.
And here’s the thing — I truly believe my father can learn to navigate and use a computer proficiently. He’s more than capable. But it starts with a choice: a willingness to put aside pride, drop the old story, and embrace learning. It’s never been about ability — it’s always been about attitude.
And that’s true for you, too.
Where in your life have you been playing the victim — holding onto the belief that it’s too hard or that you just don’t know how?
What’s something you’ve been putting off learning because you’ve convinced yourself you’re not capable?
The moment you let go of ego, excuses, or fear of failure… is the moment everything begins to shift. You don’t need perfection — just a willingness to learn.
Drop a comment below and share the area of your life where you’re ready to stop playing the victim — and start showing up as the victor.
Your commitment might inspire someone else to do the same.
Still feel overwhelmed?
If your mind feels fuzzy and you’re not sure what action to take next — book a complimentary coaching call with me here. I’ll help you break it down and map out the first steps. You might find that working with me is exactly what you need.
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