Imagine someone comes up to you and tells you that you have rainbow-colored hair (assuming you don’t). How would you react? I know I would laugh it off, as I clearly don’t have rainbow-colored hair.

However, have you ever had a time when someone said something to you, and you felt triggered or affected? I remember an example from last year when another mother told me that for Book Week, the costumes need to be homemade with the kids. I got triggered and felt I was not a good enough mum because I didn’t make my kids’ costumes and never have. The person didn’t say it in that way; it was the story I made up in my head. I am sure her intention was not to trigger or question my parenting abilities (my analysis on why I believe she made that judgement I will leave to another post). However, I was triggered and questioned myself as a mum. I chose to make up that story based on her opinion.

I reflected on everything I did and realized I am a fantastic mum. I am present, I play with my kids, spend special time with them, train and discipline them, drive them to activities, feed them, clothe them, and so much more. By focusing on what I did, rather than what I didn’t do, I accepted myself for who I am.

I admire mums who are artistic and make homemade costumes out of cardboard boxes and other materials. That is NOT me, and that’s okay because I have other strengths that I bring to my children. It’s important to recognise that we all unique and have different strengths. What I needed was to accept myself as a mum and not try to do everything everyone else does.

By the way, every year my kids show up to Book Week with a costume, and at times, I left it up to them. I was amazed at how creative they were and they loved the empowerment. I do confess two years in a row, my son went dressed as a soccer player (which he loved, wearing his kit to school). The key is they had an outfit to wear, and I didn’t forget about the event.

Next time you are triggered, thank the person for triggering you and analyse the situation. Why are you triggered? Is it something you want to change? If so, make the change. If it is someone else’s opinion, forget it and just laugh it off, as you would if someone told you that you had rainbow-colored hair.

Use triggers as a call to you to take a look

Accept yourself and focus on all the positive things you have done. Please share a trigger you have and how you plan to overcome it in the comments below.

A big thank you to Beau and Kirsty for inspiring this post at the “Believe in Your Breath” workshop I attended over the weekend.