On Your Marks, Get Set… GO!!!
The starter’s gun fired. Off I went at the Australian Masters Nationals 100-metre sprint.
It was my first Nationals, and I’d only been training for six months as a almost 40 year old.
I’d done well at the Masters Games and thought I might surprise myself again. But this was different — a bigger stage, faster competitors, louder noise.
As the race unfolded, I watched the women beside me fly past. I pushed harder, but as I crossed the finish line, that inner voice crept in — you’re not good enough.
Other competitors came up, shaking my hand and congratulating me, but I barely noticed. I was stuck in that familiar post-race spiral of comparison and self-criticism.
I felt embarrassed. My husband and kids were in the stands cheering, but instead of pride, I felt shame. I smiled weakly as other competitors came up to shake my hand, saying “Great race!” and giving hugs, but I barely heard them. Inside, I was spiralling. I was saying to myself:
Why did I bother?
I never stood a chance.
I should have trained harder.
I will never be good enough.
Have you ever caught yourself focusing on self-criticism instead of celebrating the courage it took just to step into the arena?
As I walked off the track, fighting back tears, I looked up and saw my kids, Chloe and Jake, running toward me with huge smiles. “Mum! You did amazing!” they shouted as they wrapped their arms around me.
And in that moment, something hit me.
If Chloe had just finished that race, would I ever speak to her the way I was speaking to myself?
Of course NOT!
And if Chloe told me she wasn’t going to race because she might lose what would I say to her?
I’d say to her something along the lines of:
- “Losing doesn’t mean you failed, it means you were brave enough to try.”
- “Everyone starts somewhere, even the best didn’t always win.”
- “It’s not about winning; it’s about showing up and giving your best.”
- “You’ll never get better by sitting out, courage starts with the first race.”
So why was I any different? Why was I holding myself to a standard I’d never place on my children?
Right then, I stopped tearing myself down and started to see the courage it took just to step up to that starting line. Winning wasn’t the point. Growth was.
The Lesson: Redefining Success
It’s easy to measure success by medals, times, or rankings — but those things rarely tell the full story. Research shows that self-compassion and a growth mindset are far stronger predictors of long-term success and well-being than perfectionism or self-criticism.
- A 2023 University of Melbourne study found that athletes who practised self-kindness after setbacks experienced 40% greater motivation and less anxiety.
- Another study from Stanford University (2021) revealed that people who speak to themselves the way they’d speak to a loved one are twice as likely to stay consistent with healthy habits.
When we only value winning, we rob ourselves of the joy that comes from progress — the quiet pride of showing up, pushing limits, and doing what once scared us.
Self-kindness doesn’t mean settling — it means giving yourself the same encouragement you’d offer your child, friend, or teammate. It’s about growth, not guilt.
How often do you give yourself credit for simply showing up?
The Moral of the Story
The real race isn’t against others — it’s against who you were yesterday.
That day on the track taught me something simple but powerful: if I wouldn’t speak to my kids the way I spoke to myself, it’s time to change the conversation.
I haven’t perfected it — far from it. But whenever I feel myself spiralling, I stop and ask:
What would I tell my child if they were in my shoes?
If I want my kids to be confident, resilient, and kind, then I have to model those qualities myself.
So next time you reach your own finish line — whether it’s a race, a goal, or a tough day — don’t focus on where you placed. Focus on how far you’ve come.
Courage doesn’t always wear a medal. Sometimes it just looks like showing up, giving your best, and learning to cheer for yourself the way you’d cheer for your child.
Most importantly — keep going. Keep improving. Keep finding joy in the process, even when it’s hard.
💬 I’d love to hear from you:
When was the last time you caught your inner voice being too harsh — and how did you turn it around?
Share your thoughts below — your story might be exactly what another parent needs to read today.
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