Have you ever asked your husband to do something and he didn’t do it? Have you ever told him about an event and he completely forgot and organised something else? Have you ever forgotten to tell him something you needed him to do?
I know I personally if I don’t write it down I forget half the time (probably more), as I have a lot on such as work, home, kid’s activities and exercise to name a few. If I have a lot on and I forget then how can I expect my husband to remember everything I tell him?
As Confucius says “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”
What do I do instead of telling my husband so that he remembers? I:
- Email him telling him what needs to be done
- Send invites to his digital calendar
This allows him to know and see what he needs to do and frees up my mind of having to remember to tell him.
For example, the other day I was taking the kids out to a sporting activity and the washing machine didn’t finish. So, I sent him an email asking him to hang out the washing and then put the next load in to wash. This meant when I came home 4 hours later my washing was hung out and dry.
I send him emails for everything such as changing a light globe, organising the gardener (with what I want the gardener to do), getting his buy-in for family activities (eg what fringe festival show to book in) and great articles to read.
When I remember or see something that needs to be done and it falls under his responsibility I immediately send an email so it is off my mind and on his action list. The email is not an essay and usually has a few words “change light globe in our bedroom”. This also works both ways, he will often send me emails letting me know what he needs from me.
Photo by Luke Southern on Unsplash
The same goes for calendar invites when there is an event that he needs to attend or know about I send an invite that automatically gets added to his calendar. I only send him invites when it affects him or he needs to know (for example I am out for dinner one evening, which means he will need to watch the kids).
Sharing calendar invites helps both of us with our planning and knowing what the other person has on. Also, we have one car hence knowing when the car is in use means makes it easier to book our appointments without having to wait and check with the other. It saves us a lot of time.
Sending emails and sharing calendars has many benefits for us such as:
- helps us be organised and get more done promptly.
- we don’t rely on our memory.
- when we catch up daily instead of discussing life admin we discuss the future, play games (UNO is my favourite), laugh and have fun.
- improves communication as we are both aware of what is happening and what needs to be done.
- reduces stress and frustration when what we need is not done.
- saves us time so that we can focus on helping more people.
My favourite part about the emails is the responses. The other day I asked hubby to fix my phone. I wrote back “thank you, you’re amazing!” His response “Love you, always happy to do things for you.” I read it on my way to work and it put a smile on my face and brightened up my day.
CAVEAT – My husband and I both use and manage our emails and calendar daily for work, day to day so are responsive to emails and actioning them. If emails don’t work for you try a different approach such as SMS or a list.
BONUS TIP – Send yourself emails when you remember something you need to do. Like the other day on the bus to work, I remembered I needed to organise bear ears for my daughter’s play so I sent myself an email. That evening at home as I was going through the emails ordered the ears online and it was off my list.
Recommended Additional Reads
A Game of Uno Made me Fall Deeper in Love with my Husband!
Leave a Reply