Confidence is something I’ve been working on for a long time, and it’s still very much a work in progress. When I reflect on my childhood, I often felt like I wasn’t good enough or important enough. I believed others knew more than I did, so I’d trust their opinions over my own instincts (even when I had greater experience). This mindset led me to live in fear at times, avoiding risks, and later realising that if I had trusted myself, I would have achieved greater success.

As a child, I believed that adults and parents had everything figured out. Now, as an adult and parent myself, I’ve realised that we’re all still learning and growing, no matter our age. It’s also become clear that just because someone is older doesn’t automatically mean they know more than me, especially in specific areas where I have my own knowledge and experience.

According to Oxford Languages, confidence is defined as:

• The feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
• The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
• A feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.

For me, personal confidence means trusting in myself—believing in my abilities, knowledge, and experience. Even when someone suggests something different or ridicules my ideas, I remind myself to stay firm and trust my instincts. I’ve also come to accept that I won’t always get it right, and that’s okay. Mistakes don’t define me as a person; they’re just part of the learning process.

When I Should Have Backed Myself

I’ve had countless moments where I should have trusted my instincts, but instead, I doubted myself and followed someone else’s advice. One example that sticks with me was when I was buying a property. I’d spent over six months researching a specific area — attending inspections and auctions weekly. I knew the market inside and out: house values, the best streets, and the neighbourhood’s potential.

It was listed privately and priced below market value. I asked my father for help with the negotiations because I thought he’d be more skilled at it, but he believed I was overspending. He went in and negotiated poorly and I missed out on the property. I trusted his judgment and ignored what I knew in my gut.

Had I trusted myself and gone ahead with the purchase, I would have made an instant profit of $30k to $40k. Within two years, property values in that area increased by 20%, and within five to seven years, they doubled. I pass by that property often, and it serves as a constant reminder to trust myself and believe in my own abilities.

How to Build Confidence

Here are five tips I’ve used to build and maintain confidence:

• Keep your word consistently – Whether it’s releasing a podcast every fortnight or posting a blog weekly, honouring your commitments builds self-trust.
• Decide to be confident – Confidence is a choice. Believe you can do it, and then take action.
• Own your strengths – Identify what you’re good at and accept where you’re not. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed.
• Ask for what you want – The worst thing that can happen is someone says no, and that’s okay.
• Exercise your confidence – Like a muscle, confidence grows stronger the more you use it. Take chances and put yourself out there.

Trusting Myself: A Personal Story

When I was pregnant with my second child, Jake, the doctors recommended scheduling a c-section. I had no issue with the procedure, especially since I’d had one with my first child. But something inside me wanted to attempt a natural birth this time. I trusted my instincts, knowing that if things didn’t go as planned, a c-section was still an option for a safe delivery.

In the end, I gave birth naturally, and I’ve always been grateful for that decision. After the birth, I experienced an anaphylactic shock and ended up in ICU. Looking back, I’m thankful I didn’t have to recover from both a major surgery and the complications that followed. This experience reinforced the power of self-belief, even when the odds seem slim and others, in this case, doctors, advise otherwise. Trusting myself was (and always is) the right choice — because no one knows me or my body better than I do.

Closing Thoughts

Confidence doesn’t mean you’ll always get things right or that everything will go perfectly. It’s about backing yourself—believing that you’re capable and deserving of the opportunities you seek, standing strong even when the odds are against you, and having the courage to say no when something doesn’t feel right.

Leave a comment below: “I choose to be confident today and always” and take the first step in backing yourself on your confidence journey. Because you deserve it.