Have you ever received an insincere compliment or been praised for something you didn’t even do? How did it make you feel?

Recently, in a team meeting my manager went out of her way to highlight each team member’s achievements. It was a thoughtful gesture, but when it came to me, she praised work I hadn’t done. While I was part of the team that delivered the project, my contribution was elsewhere—on a completely different initiative. It was clear she hadn’t been reading my weekly report and had assumed the advertised work was mine. Her good intentions backfired, and although I smiled politely, I felt disheartened and disappointed.

So how can we make sure our praise lands the right way? Here are Three Simple Steps:

#1 Be Specific

Vague compliments like “Good job” or “Well done” often feel empty. Instead, focus on the details. For example, “I was impressed with how you handled the client meeting yesterday. You really listened to their concerns and provided clear solutions.”

#2 Be Genuine

Authenticity matters. People can tell when praise is insincere. Make sure your recognition comes from a place of real appreciation not just saying something nice because you feel obligated. If it doesn’t feel genuine, it’s better to wait until you can offer honest feedback.

#3 Be Timely

Timing is everything. The sooner you acknowledge someone’s efforts, the more impactful it will be. Timely recognition reinforces positive behaviours and shows that you’re paying attention.

The Benefits of Genuine Praise

When you recognise someone sincerely, the benefits can be profound:

• Enhances Motivation: When people feel recognised, they’re more motivated to continue performing well. This applies to kids too! When I thank my children for putting their shoes away, I notice they’re more likely to do it again.
• Strengthens Relationships: Praise builds trust and shows you care. A few years ago, I went out of my way to thank a executive manager for their help on a project. That simple act opened doors and turned them into one of my best mentors.
• Promotes a Positive Culture: Regular, sincere recognition creates an environment where people feel valued and are more likely to support each other.

The Consequences of Insincere or Incorrect Praise

On the other hand, insincere or misplaced praise can do more harm than good:

• Decreases Trust: If praise feels insincere or uninformed, it can erode trust. People may feel their efforts aren’t truly seen, leading to resentment or disappointment.
• Reduces Motivation: When hard work isn’t accurately recognised, it can be demotivating. For example, my manager’s misplaced praise left me questioning whether she even reads my weekly reports. Now, I put in less effort because it feels pointless.
• Creates Confusion: Incorrect praise can confuse people and undermine their confidence. My daughter’s gymnastics coach once told her that her floor routine was “spot on.” Later, her scores didn’t reflect that feedback, and she was left frustrated and unsure of where to improve.
• Harms Relationships: Misplaced or insincere recognition can damage relationships.

Make Praise Meaningful

By following these steps and understanding the impact of genuine recognition, you can ensure your praise is meaningful and effective.

Genuine recognition boosts morale, motivates people, and strengthens relationships. It’s worth taking the time to acknowledge the efforts of those around you thoughtfully.

What are your thoughts on giving and receiving praise? Have you experienced the impact of genuine recognition in your life or workplace? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below. Let’s start a conversation!

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