It was one of those days when life chose to give me a surprise exam at work to test how far I can be pushed before I would break.
I felt I was on the firing line at work dodging bullets (this picture I drew up for myself I am sure intensified what I was feeling). Everything was happening all at once. Creative criticism feedback felt more like an attack, things going unexpectedly wrong with customers and commitments made to me being broken.
I started taking it personally, my self-doubt kicked in with my mind telling me why I am not good enough which made me feel anxious and I started to doubt my ability.
Then I noticed my temperament changed to fight mode and I felt snappy. That is when I knew I needed to change my state so I could continue to perform at the highest standard at work and most importantly be a present mum to my two kids and wife without dragging them down into my low vibration.
The first thing I did was acknowledge where I was at and reminded myself that everything does pass with time however to be my best self I needed to change my state.
So what did I do to change my state? Here are my 5 strategies that helped me beat the day I was having.
1. Meditation
Take time out to meditate, it does help quiet the monkey mind. There are many mental, physical and emotional benefits of meditation. The Many Benefits of Meditation article from Headspace is a simple and great read to learn further.
Meditation was tough on this day as my mind kept wandering. It was racing with what I needed to do, replaying conversations and worrying about things outside my control. I kept reminding myself I had committed to this mediation and there was nowhere I needed to be, or nothing else I needed to do during this time. I kept going back to my breath and following the guide.
Meditation didn’t bring me back to my usual upbeat state however I did feel calmer, focused and at ease. It made a lot of the work tasks easier to manage.
My recommendation is if you choose to meditate dedicate and commit the time and go all in to focus on the meditation, it is alright if your mind drifts however keep bringing yourself back to the meditation. The end result may not be exactly where you want however an improvement is still a win.
2. Do One Thing at a Time to Completion
There are always so many queries and priorities popping in with everything being urgent at work (is it urgent or is it just me?). I was trying to multi-task, starting everything and in the end, getting nothing done.
I recommended writing a list of everything you need to do then prioritise the list and start with the most important task first. Focus on one thing at a time until it is complete.
Some tips to stop the distractions are to change your status to do not disturb in your workplace chat function (such as Microsoft Teams), go offline with your emails and put your phone on silent so that you can focus.
When I reflected at the end of the day I got a lot more done than I expected focusing on one task at a time which made me feel energised and accomplished.
3. Give yourself Grace – It’s OKAY
As my day was challenging having the kids come home from school and juggle work while they are around (which usually works well) I knew was not a good option. I put the kids in after-school care and gave myself the time I needed to do work, unwind and ensure I was present when they came home.
How can you go give yourself grace? What is something you can do to lighten the load?
Some ideas are not cooking and getting takeout, giving the kids extra time on technology, asking a friend for help or jumping in bed early with the kids to sleep.
Needing help or time to yourself does not make you a failure or a bad parent it makes you a phenomenal human as you can stand up and acknowledge where you are at and get help so that you can succeed. This is something to be proud of.
4. Go for a Walk
“Research shows that regular walking actually modifies your nervous system so much that you’ll experience a decrease in anger and hostility,” Dr Melina Jampolis says.
Not just today, I go for walk most nights and I find it helps clear my head and allows me to reset. At the moment I am listening to Ed Mylett podcasts which I find lifts me up with the inspiring people he speaks to.
I find that they all have doubts, insecurities and challenges like I do and they overcome them (sometimes on a daily basis) to make a difference in this world. This alone gives me hope and certainty that I can overcome anything too.
Podcasts don’t work for you? Do what works for you when walking whether it be music, silence, a phone call or a walk with a friend.
5. Keep it Simple
In the evenings is my time with the kids, this is where I spend time and am present with them playing, doing activities, readers and so forth. My goal is to be present with the kids (I don’t always get it right because I focus on it I keep improving with time – like a good wine 🍷). Today is when I needed to keep the activity simple.
I knew I was not my usual self and needed something that could not cause disagreements or conflicts. My goal with the activity was to find something we could all do without the potential arguments. Hence I stayed away from winning/losing games, activities that require extra work pre or post-activity (such as messy play) and whatever I don’t generally enjoy on my good days.
I suggested that I clean the toy room while they watched and directed (it was a win for the kids as they told me what to do, I was doing one of their tasks and a win for me as I got a clean room and the kids enjoyed the experience).
I followed my 5 steps and it was a success I was able to manage and complete a solid work day plus be a present mother and wife. I achieved more than I previously had on similar days and the best part was I was responsive as opposed to reactive.
It was not perfect or completely graceful however it was an improvement to previous days I had like this. For that I am proud. These are the little wins worth celebrating and acknowledging as they show how far you have grown.
Please share in the comments below something that you do to handle a hard day.
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