The question of how to handle technology is always at the forefront of many parents’ minds. What’s the best approach? How much screen time should we allow our kids?
Since every family is unique, finding an approach that suits your family’s dynamics and gains their agreement is essential. The key lies in establishing a consistent set of rules that everyone can define and agree upon, a technology use contract. With such a contract in place, when the inevitable nagging commences, you can simply refer to the guidelines, sidestepping unnecessary debates.
Additionally, kids thrive on routines and predictability as they know what is expected of them. We all do, imagine going to work your job description changes daily. How frustrating that would be.
A technology contract serves as a potent tool for crafting clear guidelines for the entire family. From experience, the technology contract has been effective when kids attempt to negotiate or ask for more technology time. I simply refer back to the contract. This works two ways, the kids will refer me back to the contract when I try to change something.
The contract can evolve over time as children grow and their requirements and needs change. Naturally, younger kids require less technology time compared to teenagers. If your household consists of different age groups, considering multiple contracts tailored to each stage could be beneficial.
To change the contract I recommend a formal approach. In our household changes can be suggested at a family meeting where it is discussed and agreed upon.
Here is my 3 Step Approach I took with technology with my children:
Step 1 – Get Clear on Your Parameters and Write a Draft Agreement
This initial step is pivotal. Before engaging your kids in discussions, it’s imperative to clarify and align your technology limits and requirements with your partner. Craft a draft agreement based on these parameters. This draft acts as a valuable reference point for productive conversations with your children.
When creating the draft I sort inspiration online from existing technology agreements for children. These resources helped shape a comprehensive draft. Feel free to utilise our current technology contract as a reference:
Some questions to consider:
- What daily screen time allocation do you want your child to have?
- Do screen time rules differ on weekdays, weekends, and during school holidays?
- Are completion of chores or family tasks prerequisites for screen time?
- When is technology not allowed (eg dinner table)?
- What guidelines do you need to put in for the adults (eg no SMS while driving)?
- What are the repercussions if the technology agreement is not followed?
- What are they allowed to do during technology time? Is there anything they are not allowed to do?
Ensure that your contract allows room for negotiation. For instance, propose 10 minutes of screen time with the potential to increase it to 15 minutes. This approach empowers your children and invites them to contribute to the contract’s formation.
Remember, these guidelines are designed for the entire family to uphold and collectively monitor.
Step 2 – Share the Agreement with the Children and Get Acceptance
With the draft agreement in hand, allocate time to discuss it with the entire family. Encourage feedback, make necessary adjustments based on the conversations, and delete or add elements as needed.
The key here is to listen to the kids and make them feel heard. This encourages a sense of ownership in adhering to the agreement.
The technology agreement provides a benefit to both parents and children. Children who have a clear understanding of technology expectations will be less likely to continually nag for tech time and parents don’t need to keep saying no or asking them to get off as they can get the children to refer to the contract.
Step 3 – Finalise Contract and Family to Sign
Based on the discussion in Step 2, update the contract. Print out the agreement and invite all parties to re-read it and sign it, provided they are in agreement. If not, revisit Step 2 for further refinements.
Getting the signature is pivotal as it is not just about creating rules; it’s about fostering accountability and a shared commitment. Plus this is an effective way to start teaching children about contracts and
their binding nature once signed.
Stick the contract somewhere visible for the whole family to see. We put our contract on the kitchen cupboard.
Finally, implement the contract. Initially, anticipate that the kids may complain or try to re-negotiate especially if the terms differ from what they previously had (even if it is better it is human nature to complain about change). In these instances, refer back to the contract that they agreed to and walk away.
If your children desire changes, encourage them to initiate these through a formal process. Avoid deviating from the contract; allowing negotiation once can establish a precedent and they will continually debate.
Please share your experience with the contract in your family by leaving a comment below. I’m eager to learn about your journey.
Want a bit of extra help getting clear on your guidelines and the technology contract for your family? I can help purchase a Done for you Technology Contract, where I assist you in clarifying your guidelines and creating a family technology contract.
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